Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Rat Race

Sometimes I feel I'm in a rat race. The only thing is--I don't know when or how I joined. What is this rat race? It is this weird thing of trying to get the approval of others. And approval could be for anything:
  • Leading lots of people to Christ.
  • Being an amazing writer.
  • Speaking a strange language fluently.
  • Being a great Christian.
  • Planting a big and growing church.
  • Planting lots of churches.
  • Getting books published.
  • Reaching an unreached people group.
  • Doing big things with little or no money.
  • Being an impressive prayer warrior.
  • Being a sexy business leader.
  • Being "in touch" with technology.
  • Having thoughts no one else considered.
  • Being an incredible speaker/preacher.
  • Organizing successful events.
  • Knowing popular people.
  • Being a great parent.
  • Being artistic and creative.
I'm not talking about others who are trying to gain approval for these things. I'm talking about me. Me alone. For anything I try to do well I will find myself looking to see if someone is noticing. I will look to see if a crowd is gathering. I will look to see if they start applauding. I will get jealous when I see others are more successful... or more noticed. More applauded.

Lord, have mercy on me... I am a sinner!

Perhaps I should...

(to be continued)


  1. I think sometimes we need this approval because we are unsure of ourselves to begin with. A little encouragement helps us to keep on keeping on.
    You're a great write Koffijah.
    I think it is awesome that you can speak a unique language fluently.
    I am NOT telling you you are a sexy business leader. I haven't told anyone but my husband he was sexy since....well ever! ;-)

  2. I think you should go back and read my Brenning Manning post again.

    And not to tell you this as an ego boost, but I think you are an incredibly gifted writer, but more importantly, a man after God's own heart. I have been convicted so often here. I always look forward to reading the next installment of Koffihouse.

    We sing a song in church that I really love called "Enough":

    All of You
    is more than enough for
    All of me
    For every breath and every need
    You satisfy me with your Love
    Cause all I have in You
    Is more than enough...

  3. You are definitely not alone. I'll fight the good fight with you though. Look forward to reading your continuation.